Everything is Not What it Seems

Today hasn't been the most productive day for art. Actually, I haven't done anything about thinking about art today. I did a lot of watching and observing today. T-shirt designs are more inspiring than you think. So are TLC shows. Hey hey hey! I didn't ask for criticism!

But watching these shows all day really made me think. The press gives a lot of false information about the people on these shows. Or just merely by watching them you judge them based on one act of absurdity. Then you solemnly make a pact with yourself to think of that person as a bad individual and then flip the channel.

So, I'll admit, I was very quick to make judgments about said people. I turned up my nose, exclaiming, "These people are horrible to each other and a bad influence. I don't wanna watch this!" But then after a couple more episodes of the show I was criticizing, and I realized these people weren't so bad. Suddenly I saw them doing nice things for each other, or just having a light and fluffy personality. And I realized they were just like me, and they didn't deserve any more harsh, or better, treatment than I do. I realized under all those camera lights there was a regular human just like me. And once I realized that I enjoyed those shows.

So life lesson for me today is people are too quick to judge, especially me. So please, try not to judge someone based upon what they did or their appearance. How can we possibly judge the future? We are not master of time, or master of people. And since I couldn't sum up how I feel about the human race any better, I end with a quote.

"Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart."
--Anne Frank

Let it Be

Ever since I was a little girl I was doomed to be a character.

Well, I wouldn't say "doomed". But I would say tied to a destiny that was ever-changing.

I never would do anything for more than five seconds and then move on, claiming it was boring. I have not changed my ideals since.

So, my friends, I apologize for not posting on this blog very often. But, my life is crazy, henceforth I am crazy. I posses many quirks, many attitudes, many opinions, and now this was born.

I have entitled this piece "Soft Whispers".

It was done on really cruddy drawing paper (see the buckling around the face), micron outlining pens and Grumbacher watercolor.

I feel I have improved so much in these past few years. But as I know, an artist is constantly improving, and art is never good or bad. But based on the things I can do, my knowledge of techniques, the things I'm no longer afraid of- I have vastly improved.

But I named this piece for a reason. Maybe I'm just making this up on the spot or maybe it's been deep in the crevices of my mind for a while, but here's what I've concluded.

For so long I've felt this swelling in my heart, this lightness in my bones, and it all seems to say:

Let it be. 


This is what I need to learn to be dependent on. To not be dependent on anything. To listen to those soft whispers in my head that tell me it'll be alright and for a second believe them. To let my guard down and let the wind carry me away.

Let it be. 


Let it be.

No, no, no!

Good morning my green apple Zots! It's been a while, hasn't it? Well, while I'm here, I might as well not waste it.

Do you ever have any problems with your art? I mean, not like an accidental blob of paint right in the middle of it, or an ink spillage on a beautiful face (both of which I have done numerous times- don't even get me started on mixing skin tones. ugh.), I'm talking about a personal disliking of a finished piece.

Yes, my friends, I am talking about that little monster in your head. That little critical, nagging feeling you get when you look over something you've created, or done. It stops whatever happy thoughts you have floating around in your head and sneaks up from behind them and twists them, so that a good thought they are no longer.

It's stupid looking. I should have put more (insert art supply) there. His face is out of proportion! Gosh, don't you understand any anatomy?! These are the most common thoughts that dash so rambunctiously through my head when I've finished a piece. What does your head tell you? My guess is that it's pretty similar. I'm going to help you with that.

First of all, in your imaginative, beautiful minds, I want you to imagine the beast that is your resident critic. Make it as ugly, as rotten, and as stinky as you want. Then, I want you to inhale. Then, (if you aren't around anyone who might stare) exhale as if your blowing a big gust of wind. Imagine that stinky ole monster blowing away, far away, and finally allowing your mind to be rid of it.

Now, don't get me wrong, that monster will come back for revenge every once in a while. When it does, just repeat the exercise. What should happen is, if you're really imaginative, each time he shows up in your mind, he should get smaller and smaller. Eventually, you should barely even see him.

But onto the other stuff now, that monster doesn't have anything on us! So how should we approach an open canvas? Courageously.

I want you to make art with a new state of mind. You know how sometimes you want everything to be perfect? Well, not anymore. You will want your art to turn out exactly how you want it in your head, right? Well, I want you to throw away those expectations right now. Just right over your shoulder or into the trash can.

Art is beautiful just the way you make it. It may not seem like it, but art is a visual expression. Whatever your expression may be, it is perfect! That is what art is! Embrace the imperfections of art, that's what makes it absolutely perfect!

So the next time you go to paint, I want you to do something for me. Put on some music, and just let the brush and colors flow. Be open to anything that comes out. Trust me, it'll be amazing- just the way it is.

Whooooooooo arrrrreeee yooooooooouuu?

Okay, I kind of have a problem that I'd like to share with you guys. Lately I've had a revelation that you might find of use.

In the deeply symbolic words of the blue caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland, "Whoooooo arrrrrreeeeee yooooooooouuu?"


Perhaps your answer would be an engineer, a nurse, a mailman (just to name a few). Or perhaps you are an artist, like me.

But I have another question for you. What makes you who you are? Is it your uniform, where you go to work, your name tag?

Or do you tell yourself who you are based on what people say?

Wait a second, don't immediately deny me. Think about it for a moment. If you particularly excel at something- how does it make you feel when you hear someone praise you? Good, right? Well, I have a scenario that I want you to think about. (well actually a true story, but I want you to see if it relates to you if you're an artist.)

I always love to bring my work out to show other people whenever they're over at my place. I love to be complemented- it's part of my prideful nature. So one day, someone commented, "You are truly an artist." This stopped me in my tracks.

For the longest time I just... Didn't particularly believe I was an artist. From then on I regarded myself as being an artist- a true artist.

Woah woah woah, so what's the meaning of this story? Why is it as bad as you're making it out to be?

Well, you're right. There is a good side to this story. Someone gave me the motivation to believe in myself. What's so bad about that?

Nothing is wrong with that. But what's wrong is what I was believing before.

Do I really need other people to tell me what I am? To tell me who I am? Whether I like it or not- I should never listen to other people's opinions of who I am as an individual, and neither should you! You don't need anyone's approval- you only need yourself's.

That's really one of the biggest, most valued virtues- self assurance. And it just doesn't stick to artistic assurance- it goes for everyday life. You don't need someone to tell you that dress flatters your figure, or makes you look like a blimp, or it's not your color. If you like it- then you like it. That's the whole idea of fashion, isn't it? Self expression!

But there's
a fine line between being independent and not easily swayed and being a total jerk and not listening to anything others say. Let people have their opinions, but don't let them change yours.

Remember- you're who you are because you say you are.


~Tei

"Anything you can imagine is real."
-Pablo Picasso

My Little Yeller Book

Hello friends, it seems as though we meet again. How was your weekend? Mine was pleasurable and chock-full with artsy-fartsiness! (In case you haven't noticed, I make up words...)

I did a lot of painting with acrylics, some with watercolor, and even some with crayon! And also, I did a lot of entries in my brand-spanking new art journal!

Yeah, yeah, you've heard about it before, but I want to tell you all about it- maybe you can visualize (I won't post pictures for lack of camera).

Okay- it's a paper-bound, about 5 by 7, filled with gobs of pages sketchbook with creme pages! I love it to death!

Okay, so how did I get it? I went to the Museum of Modern Art in NYC recently, and something just sparked in me. I fell in love with oil paintings, and fell madly in love with Picasso and this other guy I can't remember the name of... But I'll tell you sometime, I wrote it down I promise! So, they had a lot of artsy stuff in the gift shop- and I knew I had to *cough* invest in something there. So, waaaay in the back in a bucket was this little fragile book just screaming for someone to buy it, so I did.

When I got home, I painted the cover with all my favorite colors in a big splochy manner. Then I told myself, "There has to be a quote by someone that is the perfect introduction to this quest!" So, naturally, I found one in ten minutes. It went like this. "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story." -Maya Angelou. This explained the purpose of this book to a T! I want to tell a story with my art.

So I gessoed the pages and started my journey! I will post pictures every so often. :) (I won't even begin to rant about how the pages were so thin I had to paste like ten together...)

Thanks for listening!!!

~Tei

Preface of This Disaster

Hello interwebs! You are reading this because I've decided to spam you once again!

Why? Because spamming is what I do best, of course! I can spam all day and all night! And you never will get mad at me or run out of space- cause you are the interwebs!

So- what in the vast hole of darkness that is my bellybutton is this blog?

This blog is everything basically. I'm planning to NOT complain- but to use this blog as a means of reflections. To put in writing what I learn.

I am starting an art journal (or as I'd like to call, an art journey). This will be my first art journal, so I really don't have any expectations or ideas about how it's going to play out. As a great artist recently told me, when you come to a blank paper or canvas, you drop all expectations and let yourself go. I intend to do so.

So, until we meet again, friends!